Opinion: Parenting 101


Here is me and my step dad at a family get together. It was my first time seeing him in about two months.

Being a parent is difficult. Whether you have a 5-year-old or 15-year-old, the job isn’t something that comes naturally. You learn from other people’s experiences and your own, but the choice is yours to take those experiences and put them into practice.  

I want to explain how being a parent is tough- for not just the parent, but for the child as well.

When you decide to have children, it’s not the child’s choice. They did not ask to be put on this earth. The mother and father, or just mother decided that it was best to put them here to live. 

That being said, it’s also the parent’s responsibility to look after, nurture, and care for the child. Some parents use tough love, some are very affectionate and others put in the bare minimum. 

Every step you take as a parent can affect your child’s attitude and behavior. Especially since everyone’s parents are different. I feel parent’s should really think about how they will deal with certain situations at hand. Whether that be your child getting a bad grade in school to doing drugs. Each situation needs to be looked at from the child’s point of view, not just the parent’s lash out on anger or disappointment. 

For example, the guardian could reflect on why their child acted out and assess the situation.

Personally, I have had several experiences where I felt I was belittled or not thought of by my parents before they went straight to punishment. 

There are different types of parenting. Here are some of the styles and the effects it has on children. 

Authoritarian Parenting. 

This is the parenting style that believes “kids should be seen not heard” as stated by, https://www.verywellfamily.com/types-of-parenting-styles-1095045

These types of parents tend to not take the child’s feelings into consideration and believe that ‘it’s “their way or the highway.” These parents also have no room for negotiation with their children. They believe that they enforce rules, and the child should follow them. No exceptions. Authoritarian parents also tend to use disciplinary punishments to make the kids feel sorry for what they did, rather than talking about it. 

Children who grow up with authoritarian parents tend to have self-esteem problems and possibly anger problems. 

“Children of authoritarian parents are at a higher risk of developing self-esteem problems because their opinions aren’t valued.”

Authoritative Parenting. 

These parents put a lot of effort into having a relationship with their child. They enforce rules and have consequences but make sure their child knows why and explains to them the reasoning behind the consequences and rules. 

These parents also like to reinforce good behavior by rewarding their child. 

“Researchers have found kids who have authoritative parents are most likely to become responsible adults who feel comfortable expressing their opinions.” according to,  https://www.verywellfamily.com/types-of-parenting-styles-1095045

Permissive Parenting. 

These parents are very lenient with their children. They set rules but don’t enforce them and they rarely give consequences. They often only interfere when the child is having a serious problem, whether that be in school, work, or life in general. 

These parents also take on more of a friend role rather than a parent role. This isn’t exactly a good or bad thing. They are very forgiving and accepting to the fact that “kids will be kids.” 

Children of permissive parents tend to have more behavioral problems, struggle in school and they can often become sad. 

Uninvolved Parenting.

This type of parenting can really be described as parents who don’t really set any boundaries, let their child run free with no thought about it. These parents typically don’t have relationships with their children. 

“Children with uninvolved parents are likely to struggle with self-esteem issues.”  stated by, https://www.verywellfamily.com/types-of-parenting-styles-1095045

Uninvolved parents expect their children to essentially raie themselves. The children may not receive attention or guidance from their parents. In return children typically have self-esteem problems and crave attention from other adult figures such as teachers, friends parents and grandparents. 

Parents usually identify with one of these types, sometimes even more than one.  None of them are perfect as one or a mixture. 

My parents have taken the route of authoritarian parenting. They have good intentions, but sometimes it’s not what is best for me. 

They set high expectations with almost no room for error. I think that my parents believe by setting a high pedestal for me it will help me better for the future, that it could help me become better and overcome more obstacles. 

Senior, Skylar Angel stated “We got into disagreements because we viewed a lot of things differently.” 

This is exactly how I would describe how talking to my parents is. It’s hard because I look at parenting one way and they look at it in a completely different view. 

Angel has been through a lot with her parents, her and i have some common experiences when it comes to consequences with our parents. 

“I got a lot of consequences, all my life continuing to this moment. Some of them were well deserved, and some of them were not. They were never beneficial to me, due to the fact that they would involve punishing me by not being able to have any communication with anyone, go anywhere or do anything. Basically everything that made my life more positive and manageable was taken from me…” stated Angel. 

Even with all the difficult things that the consequences our parents inflicts on us may bring,  we still have some sort of love for our parents. I’m eternally thankful for my parents even if we don’t get along all the time. 

It’s hard for me to go to my parents about a lot of things. But I also have four parents. Biological mom, biological dad, step mom and step dad. So I always have at least one to go, which i’m forever thankful for. 

However, sometimes we have to look at it from the parents perspective. Even though they are adults they have hard times as well. They go through just as much and more to make sure we are safe. 

But with that being said, kids didn’t ask to be here. Parents put them here and it’s their job to take care of them. 

Personally, with my children I would use a mixture of all types of parenting. I want to be a parent that will be there for my children, but also set boundaries. The consequences won’t be as harsh at all, my parenting will consist of a lot of talking and making sure everyone is on the same page. No harsh words, no lashing out. Everyone in my house can have their own voice, but will also be able to agree to disagree with all subjects whether that be a consequence or a simple disagreement. 

Everyone deserves to be treated well. At the end of the day your child’s well being, mental health and physical health should be what’s taken the most serious and taken care of with love. 

My grandma, Jennifer Jackson, stated, “Parenting is the hardest job you’ll ever have, and its also the best job you’re ever gonna have. The best day of parenting is when you are no longer parenting and you are more of a friend rather than a parent. Its initially hard letting your kids go off on there own but its almost an achievement knowing you did a good job and are ready to set them free.”  

You decide to become a parent, how you parent is your choice.