Opinion: You Deserve More Than Hookup Culture.

An incoming text from someone wanting to hookup.

An incoming text from someone wanting to hookup.

First, I want to say that I am not trying to be judgemental, I’m just simply addressing a topic that is often swept under the rug. We live in a society that idolizes sex. It is subtly, and not so subtly poured on us by social media, the things we watch, and the music we listen to. A big part of this idolization, and the advancement of technology, has led to what many know as hookup culture. 

In a survey sent out by the Ross High Times, 55.6% of those who answered believe that hookup culture is acceptable, however, I disagree.  

Hookup culture is extremely toxic. It tells us that it’s okay to sleep with whoever we want, whenever we want. It teaches us that it’s “empowering.” Which I believe is a lie because over time it can actually be pretty degrading. 

It essentially teaches people that it is acceptable for someone else to use them strictly for their bodies. If you truly respect someone, you’ll want them for who they are as a person, and what they can offer you aside from sex. Hookup culture sets false ideas of sexual relationships, and it changes the ways you see and go into relationships. 

Scott Canfield, a psychology teacher at RHS stated, “when you keep flip flopping, going from person to person, you never create a psychological bond with anyone, and so you never learn to love.” 

As humans we need love to survive, and real love can help us get through the hardships we face in life easier. It can make us feel more grounded in times where we feel completely out of control. 

Control plays a big role in people’s lives and their decisions. So they turn sex, drugs, disordered eating, and alcohol for sense of being in control. When you look at it from a bigger perspective, there seems to be a deeper issue, a spiritual issue involved in these lifestyles.

As we go through life we face things, and we often get hurt. This pain chips away at us, whether it was an abusive parent or significant other, betrayal or loss, and we can get a space in us where it feels like something is missing, and we get so desperate to fill that space that we’ll do anything to feel whole again. 

You can sleep with all the people in the world, but that won’t make you feel whole. You can’t turn to other people for your fulfillment because people don’t have the capability to do that, and it’s not their responsibility to try. You have to find your fulfillment, you have to find Jesus to feel whole. 

I’ve experienced this in my own life. A few years ago, I was chasing all kinds of worldly things, and I was miserable. I never actually felt complete as a person until I found my identity in Christ. Things weren’t perfect when I found Him, but they were so much better than before. 

On the topic of faith, I want to point out God is very forgiving. If you’ve lived your life a certain way, remember that it’s to decide that you want to change. There’s no shame in that. Jesus still loves you, and when you ask for forgiveness you’re clean in His eyes. 

In the end, I can’t tell anyone what to do with their bodies, I’m not trying to, and I’m not shaming anyone for their decisions. However, the bottom line is plainly respect. You deserve to be respected in a manner that reflects your worth. I want everyone to step back and recognize their worth, and pursue relationships that acknowledge it as well, because that’s what you deserve.