The Truth of a Breakup


The image reflects unspoken feelings during a breakup

Breakups are hard, many people struggle with breakups even if they are the one that ended the relationship. 

There are five stages to a breakup: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Many people that have been through a breakup has experienced these stages and eventually reachs acceptance and moves on. There is no time limit on healing and moving on, but knowing that you’re not alone and the pain of the breakup will not last forever is a step of healing as well. 

Sophomore Nevaeh Stevens stated,“Breakups bring a lot of sadness and confusion and getting over an ex can look differently with the end of every relationship.”

The truth is breakups are hard, and when your partner who you thought would forever be your person leaves, your body experiences it as a loss. That is typically what causes the five stages to start. Not believing that it is actually happening, hating that person, trying to get them to come back, hating and blaming yourself, then finally accepting that you will be okay and you don’t need them to be your true happy self. 

It’s okay to not want to move on for a while. Eventually you will be ready for someone new to enter your life. It is also okay to want to be single and enjoy your singleness. Being comfortable with your singleness is a good step to moving on and loving yourself. Accepting that you can be happy alone and you don’t need a relationship to live out the best version of your life is a good step to healing.

According to Hannah Orenstein, writer for Seventeen stated, “When someone special comes along, you’ll know it’s right. The best part of being single? You’re not wasting your time on someone who isn’t worthwhile. Time spent as a single lady equals time to become the truest, most youest version of you. And when you do meet someone who deserves you, you’ll feel sparkles and butterflies and fireworks, and they’ll feel them, too.”

The level of intimacy you experience in a relationship can also change how you heal from heartbreak. When you are intimate with a person you have a stronger connection and you give a part of yourself to that person. When they leave you or when you leave them, it can cause a stronger heartbreak in the end. 

An anonymous RHS student stated, “I absolutely think it’s worse. When you are intimate you get closer with that person and letting go of that relationship, it’s hard.”

When you are going through a breakup, don’t let the person that broke your heart still have power over you. Take back your power and give yourself the time to heal and be able to let them go, holding onto the person responsible for your heartbreak will only make it worse in the end. Being able to let go takes a lot of strength and it’s hard in the beginning, but you will find your happiness again. 

John Kim, therapist and writer for Psychology Today stated, “When you own your part in the breakup, you can start growing again. You circle what happened with a red marker, but you also remind yourself that you’re human.”

Relationships aren’t rewards for good behavior and a breakup is not a performance review. Don’t trick yourself into believing that you weren’t good enough for that person. You are worthy of healthy love and you deserve the love that you give to others. Sometimes heartbreak can be the beginning of a new and better story. Whether you are single or in a new and happy relationship. Every end is also a new beginning.